This journal is moreso a note to myself in hopes of stopping the hair-pulling cycle I've experienced every time I've wanted to make any kind of personal work of art, perhaps since I was 15 years old.

I get an idea just as I turn off my light and pull my big fuzzy blanket over my shoulders. Those blankets get violently thrown off of me, the light gets switched back on, the idea is quickly jotted down and I finally get some sleep. The next day at work I'm imagining the image, transforming it and watching it evolve. It's brilliant! It's fun, new, unique, deep, and I can't wait to get home to make it!

At about 8 at night I'm back on my bed with my pile of computer paper clipped to a piece of thin wood, tapping the eraser end of my mechanical pencil on my lips again and again. I have just tried to draw the piece 10 times, and each time was wrong. I decide perhaps that I'm thinking too hard and just move on to the next step. The farther I get on the project, the more I hate it and wonder what's wrong with me. I've made paintings and drawings before that I've been quite happy with, what's wrong with me tonight?

I go to bed, hoping that when I see it tomorrow I'll love what I've made and wonder why I hated it so much the night before. No, the next morning it's as ugly as it was before. About a week goes by of thinking of the picture I want to make and failing a thousand times to make it how I want.

Then, suddenly, I'll remember some vital tips and lessons I've learned over the years from high school, college, artist friends, personal experience and online tutorials. I try them, and my artist block is lifted immediately and I'm cranking out artwork like a machine. Still, I can't help but scold myself for taking so long to remember those basic steps that I've relearned time and time again.

Why do I do this so often??

For whatever reason it takes me so long to remember "the basics", I need to make a list to refer to in the future:

1. The first step is the idea, composition, and/or design. Too often I'll sit down and try to make a beautiful picture on my first try. One of my art seminars taught me, and I strongly believe to be true, that we need to prepare before doing the final piece. That means sketching down ideas, variations, editing what needs to be fixed, having references, and putting it all together. When we start our final piece, we shouldn't have to do any thinking. That should be all done, sitting in a pile on the desk. The final piece is mere execution.

2. Speaking of references... use them! In my younger years I thought I'd be stealing somehow if I used a reference for anything. There's nothing illegal about it, and you can always give credit or ask permission if you feel uneasy about using a reference. It will help you see things that you can't just remember off the top of your head. You don't even have to copy them exactly how they are. They don't restrict you or make you less original or creative - use them!

3. Draw what you know looks good or correct. I'm a clone of my dad, and he validates himself by helping others to feel good. The bad thing about that is we're unintentional people-pleasers, and I hate it. It lands me in so much misery and trouble, it's such a pain! Still, I often overlook it as I start a project and ask myself "What do others want to see?" After hours of creating nothing worth anything, I finally decide, "I'll draw what I want!" and finally create something worth putting on the fridge. Sometimes I have to sacrifice my own taste because I know it's poor composition or using a different color scheme would be more effective, but for the most part I need to remember to be selfish when making art.

4. Just keep going. Simple as that. I look up art tutorials ALL THE TIME and too often assume it'll take me 5 minutes to do the same thing (there are too many good artists out there that make it look so easy!) and when it still needs work after an hour, I tend to get discouraged. What separates professionals from amateurs is the professional will keep fixing whatever isn't right until everything is right. Amateurs (takes one to know one) rationalize their failures with "That's just the way I drew it" or "It's good enough" or "I'd like to see you do better." Don't make excuses or think you suck just because this piece is taking a long time. Keep going!

5. Remember to have good posture. I might seem like a nagging mother but it's true, my posture affects my work! I don't have a desk at home so I'm just sitting on my bed hunched over my piece of paper. How a piece looks lying down, even if you're facing it straight on, looks very different than how it looks sitting up, such as if it was on your computer screen. That's why I've drawn something I thought was wonderful and then scanned it and gasped at the ugliness as soon as it came on the screen so many times. Sit up straight, hold your pencil loosely (in the middle, not at the very tip!) and mount or hold the paper upright. It'll do wonders!

I'll add more to the list as they come to me. These 5 basic things are what I forget so often though, and they make a world of difference. I hope it'll help someone else facing the same challenges.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


My little nephew has always enjoyed eating his blanket. He gets a few "fuzzies" in his mouth and tears them out. He used to just swallow them, but now he takes them out of his mouth and sticks them up his nose. It makes him sneeze a lot, and then these huge "fuzz balls" go flying.

I can't wait until he's older so I can embarrass him with these stories. :3